See You Later, Brother

It's an eerie thing knowing when someone is going to die.  Of course we know we're all dying, and you may even have a glimpse of a general time when someone might pass away, but very seldom do you know the date ahead of time when someone will die.  Eric passed away this morning, and we knew it was going to happen.  He had been on the ventilator since last Tuesday and it became evident he was not ever going to be able to successfully breathe without it.  The cancer had spread so significantly that his body was shutting down.  The whole time Gregg and I were here he hadn't responded to our presence aside from opening his eyes briefly the first day we were here.  So after multiple long talks with the doctors and the family it was decided to take him off of the ventilator this morning.

There is an unsettling feeling in a situation like this.  Tons of questions go through your head..."Are we doing the right thing?"  "What if the situation would have changed tomorrow and he would have been fine?"  "Am I playing God?"  The chaplain from the base out here assured me that God is still in control of the situation and if he wanted Eric to breathe on his own, that would happen.  Still unsettled.

We have been praying this whole time for God to take this away from Eric, hoping he would just heal him - completely.  My prayer didn't change last night.  I prayed we would walk into the hospital room this morning and he would be sitting up, breathing on his own, with a smile on his face to greet us.  We prayed for a miracle...just give us a miracle.  This morning we got a miracle.  When we walked into the room, Eric's eyes were open and he was responding to questions.  We were able to see him and him see us.  We could talk to him and he heard us.  Then the really unsettling feeling, "Does he know what we're here for?"  Gregg decided he would be the one to directly ask him.  It was heartbreaking to watch Gregg ask his only brother if he was aware, but also if this was what he wanted, but it was so reassuring to see that Eric knew exactly what was going on and affirm to us that he was ready to go and be with Jesus.  With the sedation off, it was so obvious he was in pain...just more evidence the cancer had taken over.  He was ready to go.  It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it was awesome that everyone got to be there.  It was awesome that everyone there was a believer.  It was awesome that even as Eric was leaving this life, God was being praised.  Eric lived his life to glorify God, and he has now received the goal of his faith...the salvation of his soul.