Better is One Day in Your Courts

It's February 1st.  The beginning of a new month.  It's also the beginning of another year without Eric.  One year ago today we said good-bye to Gregg's only brother Eric.  His body was tired of fighting and he finally succumbed to the cancer that had invaded it.  That day was full of a mixture of emotions...so incredibly sad because our family lost such a good man, but joyful at the same time because we know without a shadow of a doubt that when Eric left this earth, he was welcomed into the loving arms of his savior Jesus Christ.  One year later, these emotions remain.

Gregg and I were talking last night and he reminded me of the verse in Psalm that says, "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere."  (Psalm 84:10)  "Well, he's had 365 days there," he continued, "and every one of them has been better than his best day here on earth....so why am I still sad?"  We believe what the Bible says.  We know that Eric is happier than he ever was here on earth.  But there is no way for our finite minds and hearts to really understand that.  It's hard for us to imagine his everyday reality.  All we really see...all we really understand is the loss.

As I've talked about before, this year has brought us through a lot of different emotions...a lot of valleys that didn't seem to have an end.  There was a lot of painful learning, but God is so good.  He brought us through those valleys and sustained us all the way.  And after each valley He drew us closer to Him.  If I had to choose some theme verses...a passage of Scripture that best describes our walk this past year (really year and a half) it would be James 1:2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Joy.  Defined as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.  Doesn't seem to fit, does it?  I'm not elated.  I don't have keen pleasure when I reflect on the loss of Eric.  But the reality is, I don't always see the whole picture.  This trial that has been brought into our life has surely tested our faith.  And as surely as it has tested our faith, it has also developed perseverance.  And we know that this perseverance is necessary for us to become mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Sometimes I have trouble relating to God's Word.  Sometimes I read and the verses just remain as words on a page.  But then there are times when God makes these words jump off the page and enter your life, and once this happens there is no denying God's presence in the situation.  This past year I've seen these verses come to fruition not only in my life, but even more so in Gregg's.  Though there were some pretty low points for Gregg and his faith (and there may be more to come), he has come out of them with a stronger faith and dependence on God that may not have been possible had it not have been for this trial.  His spiritual maturity has grown exponentially.  This experience has better equipped him so that he is closer to the 'not lacking anything' part of these verses.  He has never been more ready to meet his Maker...and that is producing joy...true joy...joy that can't be explained by human standards....joy that can only come from the author and perfecter of our faith.

You know one thing I love about my Jesus?  He didn't leave us to go through these trials without first going through His own.  He was the ultimate example-setter...the best servant leader this world will ever know.  The Bible tells us that we can "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  (Hebrews 12:2)  He's been there.  He's done that.  We can trust Him...He knows what He's doing.