Not Really Feeling Much Like Christmas

Well, I finally decided it was time to put the tree up.  This is the first year that Will was interested in helping, so it made it a little more fun.  He wanted to put the lights on the tree...only problem was he thought he could just take the wad of lights and place them on the tree...doesn't work quite like that, bud.  Oh, well.  Also, while I was making my mess putting up the tree...

...he was making a mess of his own in the living room...

Nice...so as usual I have to pick up after two people.  Oh, the joys of being a mom.  :)

I must say that I wasn't even sure I was going to put up the tree this year.  It doesn't really feel all that much like Christmas around here.  As many of you know Gregg's brother Eric was diagnosed with Stage 4 stomach cancer earlier this year.  He was making awesome strides towards recovery, and to be honest I think we kind of just expected him to be cancer free at the screening he had earlier this week.  Sadly, this was not the case.  Tuesday we found out that the current chemo regimen had become for the most part ineffective and there was new growth in other areas.  Not really the news we were hoping for. 

As much as this news pains me, it is ten times worse for Gregg.  This is his brother...his only brother.  I can't even begin to imagine all the things that are going through his head right now.  He's very quiet...doesn't say much.  I don't know how much I should try to get him to talk, and if I did get him talking, I don't really know what to do or say to comfort him.  We know God can take this away.  We also know that may not be His will, although we will never know why if that's the case.  And I'm not really sure if we've really come to terms with this reality...or if we need to at this point.  Is it okay to not even think of this as an option right now?  We believe...truly believe that God can heal him.  We go to God with confidence in Eric's behalf...with confidence God will do what we ask Him to do.  Do we really have to exercise the thought He might not do it?

My first reaction to this news was anger, and the same thoughts and questions that arose when we first got news of the cancer surfaced again.  It seems so unfair, God.  Why would you do this to someone so young, with so much of his life ahead of him, with a new wife, with a new baby?  WHY?  I don't know the answers to these questions.  I don't even know if I should be asking them.  So I've been thinking about all these things and going back and forth between anger and peace.  I think of Deuteronomy 29:29: "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of His law."  He may not choose to reveal to us all the Why's here, but we can be confident in the things He has revealed to us...His promises.  His promise that if we confess our sin, acknowledge Him as Lord and our only hope in this world, then we will be with Him forever.  He tells us that, "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Rom 10:13)  Our health is something that we take for granted, but the truth is it's not a sure thing.  But if we have a saving faith in Jesus Christ, He will never leave us or forsake us.  And that we can have true confidence in.

So I did get the tree up.  If all of this has done nothing else, it has truly made me remember why we really celebrate this time of year.  Thank you, God for sending your Son, so that He may be sin for us and give us hope for life everlasting with You.